I knew at 10 years old that I would live overseas on the frontlines advancing the Kingdom of God. And I knew it would be Africa. I would dream of the day I fulfilled my calling. The Lord gave me visions, ordained for ministers to confirm this calling on my life on more than one occasion. In 2009, I stepped foot on the beautiful continent of Africa and my life was forever changed. I was young. Inexperienced. But so alive to finally be seeing it all come to pass. Fast forward several years (I won’t tell you how old I really am lol). But here I am. Fulfilling my life long dream of being a missionary in Africa. We have a thriving ministry. We live on a beautiful compound. People are being reached with the Gospel of Jesus. We are seeing miracles. People filled with the Holy Spirit. Lives touched and forever changed! But today, my mission field experience looks a little different than when I first set out on this journey. And I’ll be completely honest with you, I’ve struggled with it. My life is not as it once was on the mission field. I’ve found myself struggling with guilt at the realization that my daughter won’t experience life as a normal 4 year old. She has to leave her family in America. To live in a culture that’s not her own. Her “friends” in our community cannot even speak the same language as her. She didn’t choose this life. And I’ve battled these thoughts for some time now. But here’s what the Lord has shown me. No, Malia and Micah did not choose this life. However, the Lord saw fit for them to be raised under our household and right now that household is on the mission field. He chose this life for us all and He has entrusted us with these two precious children. Yes, they miss out on a lot but they also are having the incredible opportunity to grow up serving and loving the people of Kenya. I watched just the other day as Malia gave away her toys and clothes to her friends in our neighboring village. Although there was a language barrier, that didn’t stop her from loving on them and showing Jesus to them. This is the life Malia knows and she is completely okay with it. Motherhood is ministry. And they are my ultimate mission field. What kind of minister or believer would I be if I gained the whole world but never truly invested in my own children. My days look different as a mother of two on the mission field. I’ve always been very involved with ministry. Both in America and Africa. But this season that the Lord has me in is just different. The Lord has me very much orchestrating things behind the scenes so that I can be there to care for my children. And you know what? That. Is. Okay! I struggled with this reality initially because I wanted to be out in the field, getting my hands dirty. And I do still sometimes do that. But right now my children need me. And I don’t need to be in the front. I don’t need to be seen. In this season, the Lord is just showing me that Ministry is still happening. Lives are still being touched. And I still minister, but in a different way. I’m still called. I’m still a missionary. But I don’t have to do it all. And my children are my first ministry.